'I’ve made that very clear to them that I’m not happy with them': Sister calls step-sister to check on her well-being, step-sister accuses her of harassment and get the whole family involded

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Jan 19, 2025 7:00 AM EST

Do you have siblings? I do, and I think fondly back on the days when I could terrorize my sister under the guise of "I didn't mean to!" Listen, a bit of healthy sibling rivalry can't hurt anyone. Some name-calling, some light psychological torture. Nothing any of us with siblings can deny having done. It was almost exciting to see how she would get me back, too. Would she use her body to wield me off? Would she try to trick me? Or would she use the Deus Ex-Machina when all else failed: calling Mom? Now, in our old age, we have to hash out our anger with each other with our words and "like adults." Where's the fun in that? 

Some people choose not to grow up, or at least some people never find the words to describe how their sibling is making them feel. Maybe it's jealousy, maybe it's hurt. Either way, the tactics some people used in childhood stay in their toolbelt for the rest of time. That's what's going on with OP and her step-sister in this post here. What you're about to read is a real Cinderella story, and I'm not talking about a fairy godmother and pumpkins into coaches, people. This is nasty, mean-spirited work.
 

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    via Paul Hanaoka
  • 02
    AITA for softly cutting out my family after my sister accused me of harassing her (For a little context, I live about 200 miles from the rest of my family.)
    via rioja_king
  • 03
    A few months ago I (27f) got several erratic texts from an number I didn't recognise, the person didn't give their name but knew a lot about my step sister Emily (29f), the person said that Emily was a danger to herself. It was very late at night for them, but at the time I was out of the country for work and in a different time zone. I didn't want to wake our parents, but I was Concerned so I called my sister's local station for a wellness check.
    via rioja_king
  • 04
    Since a fall out, my step sister and I haven't been so close, but I've always cared about her, and been kind to her despite our differences. I was shocked when I got home from my work trip to receive a call from my mother claiming that Emily had reported me for harassment.
    via rioja_king
  • 05
    I received many nasty messages from my family (including my mother (60f) and other two sisters (early 20s)) before they finally told me what I had apparently done...
    via rioja_king
  • 06
    Emily claims that someone had bought multiple burner phones that they used to harass her via text for a year, and that she "knows" it was me. Emily claims that she baited this person into believing she was a danger to herself to see if she could call their bluff. And that me calling for a wellness check is proof I was harassing her.
    via rioja_king
  • 07
    I was heartbroken when I heard this, unlike Emily I earn very little and unlike my other sisters I'm not funded by our parents. They know I live paycheque to paycheque, and work long hours... they know very well I can't afford the so called "multiple burner phones", and don't have the energy or time to harass my worst enemy, let alone my own family.
    via rioja_king
  • 08
    Since this weird accusation, I've taken a step back from them, opting out of spending Christmas with them. To which I received grief, being told everyone was disappointed in me for not going to see them.
    via rioja_king
  • 09
    I've decided to softly cut them out, I will send them nice texts occasionally, but I'm not interested in seeing them. I've made that very clear to them that I'm not happy with them and that I need to stay away for my wellbeing. Edit: thank you everyone for all your kindness :) I appreciate it!
    via rioja_king

  • OP asked for advice, and the community backed her up.

  • 10
    Sensitive-Ad-54... . 23h ago Top 1% Commenter "Considering you just accept step-sisters insane accusation without a second thought or any questions, it's clear you're unhealthy for me. So thanks for the years that were, thanks for your assumptions and thanks for having zero faith in me. Do not contact me when it's revealed I haven't harassed anyone. You chose this, so stick to it" Block them all.
    via rioja_king
  • 11
    Why would they think you're coming to Christmas when they sent nasty messages just believing your step sister without any proof. And I saw you kept your mom unblocked. If she or your sister sent any of those nasty messages time to block them even just for a little for a break. NTA if she had zero proof and it was "just a feeling" they should not have been attacking you
    via rioja_king
  • 12
    NTA, your family immediately jumped to conclusions without asking you for your side of the story about what happened. I've definitely been in your shoes. before and its ks, especially when you were just trying to check up on your sister. I hope they will treat you better eventually, but until that point, I'd focus on yourself and your own situations.
    via rioja_king

  • Sisters… sisters… there were never such devoted sisters. Well, if by devoted, you mean devoted to making their lives incredibly difficult!

  • 13
    NTA *being told everyone was disappointed in me for not going to see them.* No, they were disappointed thei human pinata did not show up for maximum drama- mongering. You deserve better!
    via rioja_king
  • 14
    "Why would I want to spend my Christmas with people who send me nasty messages and believe without any evidence that I am harassing my stepsister? I prefer to spend my time off with people who bring me joy and treat me nicely. Happy Christmas to you all!" NTA.
    via rioja_king
  • 15
    It's ok to softly cut out people, even close family. The distancing will give you peace and give them time to work thru their foolishness without you to blame. It's actually smart for everyone. Sounds like your life is busy, do use that to avoid them. It won't get better. You won't get them to love you by giving them more of what they don't appreciate now. There's people that appreciate you. They are your family.
    via rioja_king

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